The Empathy Divide: Why Compassion Still Belongs in Modern America

As a woman, and specifically as a working mother, I’ve begun to feel increasing pressure from shifting cultural expectations in the U.S. These pressures aren't always overt, but they raise a troubling possibility: that women might begin to question their value, their instincts, and their place in society. Two emerging cultural trends are particularly concerning. The first is a growing skepticism, even hostility, toward empathy. The second is a resurgence in calls for women to return to more traditional roles. This post will focus on the first: the quiet but persistent attack on empathy.

Empathy, often viewed as a hallmark strength among women, is a cornerstone of effective leadership, strong relationships, and high-performing organizations. Far from being weakness, empathy requires deep cognitive and emotional processing. It’s the ability to understand others, anticipate needs, and respond constructively. To be clear, empathy is not biologically exclusive to women, nor are all men devoid of it. Many men are deeply empathetic, just as some women may lean more toward individualism. Empathy is a human trait that is influenced by socialization, culture, and environment. Research suggests that, on average, women tend to score higher on measures of empathy. This may be partly due to slight neurological and hormonal differences, but more robust explanations lie in how girls and boys are raised. From an early age, girls are more often encouraged to nurture, attune to others' emotions, and consider the needs of the group. Boys, on the other hand, are frequently socialized toward independence, stoicism, and self-sufficiency. These early lessons shape how we show up in adulthood, including at work and in society.

Despite the significant benefits, in recent times some have begun to characterize empathy as a liability, especially in professional settings. Many may recall Mark Zuckerberg’s controversial comment that the workplace needs to be “more masculine.” Since then, there’s been a noticeable uptick in dismissive attitudes toward emotional intelligence, particularly on professional platforms like LinkedIn. More broadly, social media has become a battleground where empathy is often met with cynicism, ridicule, or outright aggression.

This cultural shift extends beyond digital spaces. In politics and media, empathetic policy proposals are increasingly labeled as naïve, too woke, too radical, or even dangerous. One particularly jarring moment occurred when a group of elected officials declined to affirm that children with cancer should be exempt from deportation, an example that left many Americans stunned. Others, myself included, wrestle with the emotional and ethical impact of abruptly halting humanitarian aid, knowing such decisions can jeopardize access to food and medical care for vulnerable populations around the globe.

If you find yourself troubled by this trend, you’re not alone and you are not the problem. The U.S. has long emphasized rugged individualism, a philosophy that values self-reliance and personal responsibility. While this ethos has inspired innovation and resilience, it also has limits. By many global standards, our outcomes tell a sobering story: the U.S. has one of the highest maternal mortality rates among developed nations, lags behind in life expectancy and literacy, and ranks lower on global indexes measuring personal freedom and well-being.

Empathy and hyper-individualism cannot comfortably coexist. Empathy asks us to recognize the role that community, circumstance, and structural forces play in shaping lives. Individualism insists success is solely a matter of personal effort. Both offer important perspectives, but when empathy is discarded entirely, we lose the capacity to build systems that serve everyone.

So why the growing discomfort with empathy? The COVID-19 pandemic may offer some clues. It exposed just how interconnected our lives really are, something that challenged the “me first” mindset many Americans hold dear. At the same time, rising loneliness, increased political polarization, and a breakdown of community ties have made empathy feel like a risk instead of a resource. Inflammatory rhetoric, particularly when national leaders demean or mock entire groups of citizens, fuels tribalism over cooperation. And tribalism is the antithesis of empathy, it narrows our field of care to those who look, vote, or live like us.

But here’s the truth: empathy drives social progress. Countries that consistently rank highest in life satisfaction, such as Norway, Finland, and the Netherlands, embed empathy into public policy. They prioritize healthcare, education, parental leave, and housing through a lens of shared well-being. Their criminal justice systems emphasize rehabilitation over retribution, resulting in far lower incarceration rates and higher social trust. The benefits extend into education as well. Countries with high literacy rates often focus not just on academics, but on student well-being. Teachers trained in social-emotional learning, empathy included, foster better outcomes for both themselves and their students. In contrast, the U.S. leads the world in incarceration and reports rising mental health challenges, social distrust, and civic disengagement.

Empathy matters in the workplace too. Studies show that gender diverse teams perform better, especially on complex tasks that require collaboration and communication. Organizations with more women in leadership tend to outperform their peers in terms of profitability, innovation, transparency, and employee retention. Empathy fuels these outcomes.

To the women, and men, who feel uncertain about showing empathy in today’s climate: your compassion is not a weakness. It’s a strength our country needs more than ever. Empathy is a powerful force for connection, resilience, and growth. It has fueled some of the most successful and stable societies around the world, and it can help us rebuild the trust and cohesion we need here at home.

Part two of this series will explore the pressures women face to return to traditional roles and why we must thoughtfully examine where those expectations come from.

Until then, remember:your empathy is not the problem. It might just be the solution.